i walk in and wonder why its like this. why the judgement is so thick in the air and the eyes start piercing my body like knives. i wonder and wonder who created the semi-precious looks and laughs. who really cared or who was cruel enough to turn it into pain and amusement. but, right when i think i will never understand; i then see society take over those who think they are elite or something better than the norm. the mainstream. proving every day of their so called beliefs. and then i look up and see who i am and love every part about that. i walk out with my pride and knowledge to never walk in again.

// The Metaphorical Cliff//

Looking back to specifically one moment in time. Not realizing I was falling slowly but surely. My feet were at the edge of a metaphorical cliff. Looking down. Scared of heights but wanting the thrill, the rush into my body, the wind sweeping my hair in a spiral. But the only thing I didn’t realize when I jumped, taking one foot off that cliff would literally change my entire being. It was like right when I started falling, everything I had once believed fell out of my head, and my heart ruled everything. It wasn’t normal, isn’t normal for an organ to become too overpowering. But it was. And as I fell, and everything I had known before fell with it, I started gaining new feelings as I fell. The rocks that hit me were the painful parts, the wind in my hair was the playful parts. The screams of laughter were the adventure. And the fact that I was looking up, looking for a hand to pull me right where I should have been was the reminder that you didn’t jump off with me.

“When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent of his skin. You see only the essence of the person,not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.”

written by Lisa Unger

“told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company. but that was love and it’s an ache i still remember. but I don’t wanna live that way, reading into every word you say. you said that you could let it go and I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know.”